


Untangling the Knots

by Moit



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Angst, Divorce, Hopeful Ending, Infidelity, M/M, Marijuana Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-01 11:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12704382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moit/pseuds/Moit
Summary: Chris's affair brings an end to his marriage to Zach. This is what happens next.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Idk where I'm going with this, but it's fun to write! I imagine it will be around 5 chapters or so? Probably not more.

Chris checks his watch for what must be the fifth time in two minutes. Their flight only landed ten minutes ago. Around him, the airport is bustling with activity. He’s got his Dodgers hat pulled low over his eyes; the press is always lurking at LAX, but today he just wants to get his kids and go.

He sees Tabatha first, but it’s Evans voice he hears.

“Daddy!“ A mini tornado in Chris’s image darts through the crowd and attaches himself to Chris’s hips.

“Hey, buddy.“ Chuckling, Chris reaches down to ruffle Evan’s hair. Tabatha walks towards them at a more sedate pace. She has headphones on, and her long brown hair obscures most of her face, even if she keeps her eyes glued to her phone.

“Hi, Tabby,” Chris says, but he’s ignored.

Zach is behind her, and he says, “she wanted to stay in New York.“ He doesn’t sound mad about it. Zach passes Chris Evan’s Spiderman backpack. “I’m heading back on Saturday, and I’d like to take them with me.“

Chris frowns. “Evan has a birthday party to go to on Friday.“

Zach presses his lips together like he does when he’s annoyed. “Then I can take Tabatha, and you can get her, or I can put her on the plane.“

Chris doesn’t like that idea, either, but he doesn’t want to have this argument in the middle of the airport. In front of the kids, no less.

“Just—can I call you later about this?“

“Fine.“

Zach hugs and kisses Evan and manages to get Tabatha‘s attention long enough to receive a hug. He gives Chris a tight smile before disappearing into the crowd.

Chris sighs before herding his kids in the direction of the car.

*

_Six months ago_

They were happy once. They were family, and Chris couldn’t ask for anything more. Until he met Kori. He was 45, and she was 23, blonde, and single. They were cast to play opposite one another and a quirky rom-com about two FBI agents who were forced to work together and end up falling in love.

In Chris’s defence, it started off innocently. This was Kori’s first big film, so they’d hang out between takes, and he’d help her run lines. She began inviting Chris out to the bars with her and her much younger squad. Chris started drinking again, and his life very quickly spiralled out of control. He’d come home late reeking of booze.

Zach would be awake in bed. His dark eyes would be wide behind his glasses. He’d whisper, “Where have you been?“ and it would sound more like a concern than an accusation, and his heart began to fracture.

“Late shoot,” Chris would whisper and retreat into the shower so Zach didn’t smell the lingering perfume.

Hanging out with Kori made Chris feel like he was in his 20s again. He felt a freedom he hadn’t had since before the kids. Before he got married.

The first night he reached the point of no return, Chris was too drunk to drive home. Kori invited him back to her house. Foolishly, Chris accepted. He never meant for it to happen, but she smelt so good, and it had been so long since he’d been with a woman. She was so soft and warm and _available_.

Zach didn’t ask where he’d been the next morning, which just made it so _easy_ to continue. Somewhere in the six month period, Chris and Zach stopped having sex altogether. In the beginning, on nights when Chris was actually home, Zach would reach for Chris in the dark, press a series of kisses against his shoulder, only to be pushed away.

“I’m tired,” Chris would say.

Eventually, Zach quit trying. The final blow came the night Chris returned home to find all the lights in the house on. Fear curling in his belly, he unlocked the front door and walked in. The house was quiet. Zach, he realised, was sitting like a statue in the living room. Chris whispered his name.

“The kids are at Joe’s,“ Zach said.

“Oh.“ Chris put his keys in the dish. When did things become so stilted between them? Zach stood up, and Chris could see he was fully dressed. His heart pounded in his chest.

“I want a divorce.”

*

Chris will never forget how much those words hurt. Presently, he is eating dinner in the dining room table with his children like there is not an empty seat for their other father across the table.

“May I be excused?“ Tabatha asks.

Chris frowns at her half-eaten plate. “You haven’t even touched your porkchop.“

“Tabby’s a vegetarian now,“ Evan supplies helpfully.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,“ Chris says. “Where did you pick that up? In Manhattan?“

Tabatha shrugs one shoulder. “Papa’s friend Miles is a vegetarian. He’s a model.“

 _Of course he is_ , Chris wants to say, even as his heart give the lurch at the phrase ‘dad‘s friend.’

“Not like Kori,“ Tabatha quickly amends, and her eyes cast daggers at Chris.

As much as he wanted to keep the worst of the divorce from his kids, the tabloids got wind of the juicy secret, it was out of his hands.

“Eat your potatoes, at least.”

Tabatha shoved them in her mouth as fast as she could and gulped down several mouthfuls of water. “Now can I go to my room?” At 13, she’s got Zach’s eyebrows and his attitude.

“Fine.”

She throws down her napkin and thunders upstairs.

“She’s moody,” Evan says.

Chuckling, Chris shakes his head. “Eat your pork chop.”

*

“Look alive, chaps, the boss is here!” Neal announces as Zach walks through the door.

“Oh, shut up, you knew I was coming.” Zach rolls his eyes but laughs anyway.

“What are you going back east?”

“Saturday.”

“How are the kids?”

Zach takes a long sip of his latte. “You know. Evan’s happy no matter where we go, and Tabby didn’t want to leave New York. She is taking her anger out on Chris, but I can’t say that I blame her.”

Neal gives him one of those looks that of pity that Zach has seen all too often since he and Chris split up. “How are _you_?”

“I’m good. Getting better, but good. I had dinner with Miles last week.“

“Oh, yeah?“ Neal gives him a leer.

“No.“ Zach deadpans. “It’s not like that. My divorce isn’t even final, and in case you don’t remember, infidelity is what ended my marriage.”

“Zach, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“No, it’s okay. Miles is actually dating the director of a play I’m trying to get a part in, so it’s more business than anything. Besides, even if I was single, he’s not really my type.” He is also still hurt that Chris cheated on him with someone half his age and a woman, no less. Zach’s nearly 50—how is he supposed to compete with a pair of perky tits?

“Okay, what are we working on?”

*

Long after the kids have gone to bed, Chris sits in the living room with his phone in his hand. The TV is on, but he isn’t watching it. His eyes are on the phone screen, which shows Zach’s smiling face. His name still says ❤️Hubby❤️ because Chris hasn’t had the courage to change it. in spite of everything that happened, everything that he’s _done_ , Chris still loves Zach with all his heart. The day his husband walked out the door, Chris broke it off with Kori. He hasn’t talked to her since, and he hasn’t had a drop of alcohol. Those two things cost him his life.

Now, he is alone in this big empty house wondering how he’s going to convince his soon-to-be ex-husband to let their nine-year-old stay in LA for an extra day. They agreed in the beginning to keep the kids lives as normal as possible, so Chris is helping Zach doesn’t take this as an opportunity to twist of the knife. Steeling his nerves, Chris presses his thumb against the screen and lift the phone to his ear. It rings so many times he starts to compose a voicemail in his mind.

And then Zach picks up. “Hello?”

“Hey. It’s Chris.”

There’s a pause. “I know. I still have your number.”

Of course.

“Did I wake you?”

“No, I was reading.” _What do you want?_ is at the edge of his tone.

“So Tabby tells me your friend Miles is a vegetarian.” He hadn’t meant to lead with that—he hadn’t meant to say it at all, but it slipped out.

“Really, Christopher? You think I’d sink as low as you? And introduce him to our children, no less?. He is a friend. Now, if you don’t get to the point, I’m going to end this call. I have to be up early in the morning.”

“Is there any way you could delay your flight one day? For Evan?”

Zach sighs audibly. “We still meeting Wednesday, right? I’ll give you an answer then.“

“Okay, I’ll see you then. Have a good…“ Before he even finish speaking, Chris hears the tell-tale beep that says Zach has already ended the call.

*

Zach’s attorney speaks with him privately before their meeting. They are still in the thick of negotiating, and Zach isn’t willing to give Chris an inch. Against the advice of their friends and family, they got there without a prenup. At the time, they thought it be together forever.

“I’m really going to suggest you take the deal on the table. If this goes to court, you’re going to decimate yourself in legal fees, and your put your kid through much worse than living on two coasts.”

Zach’s face was impassive. “I told you before: if we go to court, I’ll sue him for full custody. He is the one who ruined this marriage, not me.“

His lawyer gives him a hard look, but he’s paying her by the hour.

In the meeting room, Chris is seated next to his own lawyer in a tasteful blue suit. For a moment, Zach is hit with a memory of sliding a jacket very similar to that one off Chris’s shoulders, but he shoves the memory away. Of course he still loves Chris, probably always will, but he also knows he’ll likely never forgive him, either. Zach takes his seat while making minimal eye contact.

Chris’s lawyer opens the meeting by saying, “Since we’ve settled the issue of custody—“

And Zach’s lawyer pounces. “Actually, my client has decided that he wants the children to be educated at Léman Manhattan Preparatory School.”

Chris’s face falls. “Zach, we agreed to keep them at Ridgewood.”

Zach fixes his gaze on the glossy table top as Chris whispers to his lawyer.

“My client agrees to let Tabatha choose her school—whether that in California or New York, but it is an Evan’s best interest that he received the same education through the end of junior high school as a sister.“

“I’m not splitting up my kids,“ said Zach.

“Then why are you trying to take Tabby to New York?“

“I’m just trying to give my kids the best possible education!“

“Then leave them in Los Angeles!“

“Gentlemen.“ Chris’s lawyer held up her hands. “Perhaps my client would be willing to revisit this issue at later date.“

Chris crosses his arms over his chest and nods.

“Okay.“ His lawyer moves to the next item on her list. “Now, my client is currently living in the Silver Lake residence. Since he had the property prior to the marriage, my client would like to retain sole ownership of the home.”

Zach’s lawyer leans forward. “My client is owed precisely 50% of the current appraised value, as it falls under the equitable division of marital assets. Unless your client would prefer to sell it.”

  
Later, Zach is walking to his car when he hears Chris call out to him. Keys in hand, Zach pauses as his—Chris jogs towards him. “Make it quick. I have a meeting.“

“Why did you change your mind about school?“ He doesn’t look angry, just tired.

Zach gives him a hard look. “Why Kori?“

When Chris doesn’t reply, Zach says, “There’s your answer.“ He slams the car door and once again puts Chris in his rearview mirror.

 

 TBC

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes nothing! Hope you guys are enjoying this. It's not going to be terribly long, but there's one more chapter coming!

_15 Years Ago_

Chris shoved his hands deep in his pockets to keep from twisting them together as Zach walked around in a slow circle. He had his head tilted back to look at the exposed wooden beams in the ceiling.

“What do you think?” Chris asked finally.

Zach met his eyes and a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I like it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Zach wrapped his arms around Chris’s neck. “Let’s keep this one, and I’ll sell my place.”

In Zach’s defence, the money he got from the sale of his house went into their joint account to be used for the cost of their first surrogate.

 

_Now_

Chris scrubs a hand through his hair as he reads over the deed to the house again. Both of their names are listed as owner:

 

 

Chris Pine Zachary Quinto

 

Chris’s insistence that they sell Zach’s house has come back to bite him in the ass. Then again, if he had just kept his dick in his pants, he’d still be a happily married man. At this point, he has no idea what he’s going to do. Sure, he could sell the house. Or give Zach half the _value_. But it isn’t about the money. It was about the fact that Zach had gone back on the only thing they’d agreed upon—Chris would keep the house in LA, and Zach would get an apartment in New York. Now, Zach wanted to argue that. And for what? To get even? To hurt Chris in return?

Except he couldn’t. Zach could never hurt Chris as deeply as he was punishing himself. He’d never forgive himself for this—even if Zach did.

*

Zach’s apartment in Central Park West is _nice_ , even by New York standards, but it still doesn’t feel like home. The kids love that they are within walking distance from Central Park—among other things. But every time they walk out the door, Zach holds his breath. They are California kids used to being driven from place to place, always with a parent by their side. He and Chris never employed a nanny. If one of them couldn’t be home, they could usually count on Uncle Joe or Aunt Katie to babysit. Now, though, Zach is terrified to let Tabitha walk down the street lest someone grab her. She’s got stars in her eyes at the sight of so much light and sound.

Zach’s sitting at the desk in his bedroom. The apartment is too small for an office, especially with the kids each having their own bedroom. Though he’s loathe to admit it, he misses his house in Los Angeles. He and Chris lived in it together for 15 years. Next to his childhood home in Pittsburgh, it’s the house he lived in for the longest. The kids, thankfully, are viewing the split like a new adventure.

His mind wanders to his life before—he can hardly say, let alone think, the words ‘Chris’s affair’—and his eyes fill with tears. For so long, he tried to just ignore it. He though that maybe, if he gave Chris enough time, his husband would come back. He’d finish sowing his wild oats—whatever bullshit story Zach was telling himself—and some day, _tomorrow_ , Chris would come back to him.

A knock on the door startles him out of his reverie. Zach hastily wipes at his eyes. “Come in!”

The door opens, and Tabitha appears. “Hey, Papa, I—are you crying?”

“No.” Zach forces a smile. “No, baby, I’m just… looking over some things.”

“Oh.” Tabitha walks closer so she can see over his shoulder. “I wanted to know if we could go get fro-yo. I unloaded the dishwasher, and Evan cleaned his room.”

“Yeah, we can do that,” says Zach, but he’s still distracted.

Tabitha drapes her arm over the back of her father’s chair and leans into him. Zach can’t help but notice how tall his baby girl has grown.

“Is this me?” she asks, trailing her fingertips over the picture on the desk.

In the photograph, a much-younger Zach is holding a baby while a much-younger Chris gazes at the two of them.

“Yep.” Zach wraps his arm around Tabitha’s waist. How is she a teenager already?

*

They found Alicia through a service that catered to high-end clients. They paired a donor egg with Zach’s sperm and implanted it into Alicia’s uterus. She’d already carried and given birth to two other couples’ babies in addition to the two children she’d had with her husband prior to that. She was spunky and high-energy. She worked out 6 days a week and taught spin classes at her fitness club. The first thing Zach noticed about her was her biceps.

“That one,” he said, pointing at her picture. “She’s got killer arms.”

“Honey.” Chris put his hand on Zach’s knee and squeezed. “We should probably look at her profile before we make the final decision.”

In the end, the picked her anyway. Zach’s “vibe” about her won out. But they couldn’t have had a better experience. Alicia agreed to take he pregnancy test at their house so they could be with her every step of the way. They met her for every prenatal check-up, and both Chris and Zach were in the delivery room.

As agreed, Tabitha was placed in Zach’s arms as soon as she was clean and swaddled. He had tears in his eyes as he looked down into her scrunched red face. Glancing to his left where Chris stood, he said, “We made a baby.”

The day he married Chris, he thought he knew all there was to know about love. Until Tabby was born.

*

Zach agrees to keep the kids in school in California, at least until they could come to a better agreement in regards to Tabitha being educated in New York. That means that unless Zach had business to take care of, he only gets to see his kids every other weekend at best. Considering he places full blame for the end of his marriage on Chris, it feels like a double blow that he’s lost his husband _and_ his kids.

Zach doesn’t ask the kids questions about their other father. He prefers to retreat and lick his wounds, which is why he moved to New York in the first place.

Chris, on the other hand, asks, from time time to time, as nonchalantly as possible, how Zach is doing. Mostly, he asks Evan, since he knows Tabitha is still angry at him.

“He’s okay, I guess,” Evan says without pausing his game. “He hasn’t cried as much lately.”

A lump forms in Chris’s throat. “He’s—Papa cries?”

Evan shrugs. “Only when he thinks we don’t know. I don’t think he really likes it in New York. He spends a lot of time in his room, and then when he comes out, his eyes are red. I think he’s lonely. He needs more friends.”

“What about ah—his friend Miles? The vegetarian.”

“I don’t think he’s Papa’s friend anymore. We only saw him once.”

Chris falls silent, and Evan goes back to his game. As much as he hates the thought of Zach crying alone in his apartment, there isn’t much Chris can do. He’s already done enough to create the situation.

*

The next time Chris sees Zach is at Tabby’s Christmas dance recital. They’ve managed to avoid each other for several weeks, so it’s inevitable.

Zach has already found their daughter in her red and white striped costume by the time Chris makes his way through the crowd. Evan is with them, and Chris can’t help but notice the way Zach’s face lights up when he talks to his children. But the light fades as soon as Zach lays his eyes on Chris.

“Dad!” Tabitha squeals as she wraps her arms around his neck. It’s the first time she’s shown him affection since she found out about the affair, and it takes Chris by surprise. Nevertheless, he squeezes his daughter tight.

“You were beautiful up there.”

“I messed up,” Tabby says, even though she’s smiling. “I missed a couple of the counts.”

“I never even noticed,” Chris replies honestly.

A few of the other dancers stop to exchange congratulations.

“Can we go to In-N-Out?” A hopeful smile on her face, Tabby looks between her parents. It’s become a tradition for them, but it’s Zach’s night with the kids.

“I don’t—that’s up to your Papa.”

Zach’s lips are pressed into a firm line. He’s clearly fighting an internal battle. “That’s fine,” he says finally.

Evan and Tabitha cheer and high-five one another.

“Okay, give me a hug,” Chris says. “I don’t want to hold you up.”

Tabitha’s face falls. “You’re not coming?”

Chris meets Zach’s gaze over her head. He’s trying to broadcast, _I don’t want to intrude, but it’s your call._ He’s half-expecting Zach to say something along the lines of, ‘Your dad has to be up early’ to keep Chris from having to lie, so he’s not expecting Zach’s simple “He is.”

They take separate cars.

The kids pile into Zach’s Prius while Chris follows. While they eat, the kids chatter about school, their friends, and the minutiae of their lives. For just a moment, Chris pretends that they’re still a complete, happy family. Zach beams as he listens to Evan and Tabitha, and guilt tugs at the edges of Chris’s heart.

“Zach Quinto?” They look up to see, of all people, Zach’s old friend Greg Grunberg standing next to their table.

“Greg!” Zach sounds equal parts pleased and surprised as he stands up for a hug. “How are you? Long time no see.”

“Good, real good. I have three grandkids now.”

“That’s amazing. Good for you, man.”

Greg nods proudly. “Well, you guys look good.” He smiles at Chris and the kids, and it’s in that moment that they all seem to realize that Greg has no idea Chris and Zach are getting a divorce. Thankfully, Zach is a consummate actor. He keeps a smile on his face and nods along with Greg. Now is not the time to air their dirty laundry.

“Well, I’ll give you a call. We should catch up.”

Zach agrees, and just as quickly as he appears, Greg is gone.

They finish eating, and Zach loads the kids back into the car. Chris watches his taillights until they fade from sight.

*

The next time Zach sees Chris is at a charity dinner for Greg’s epilepsy awareness organization. They’re seated next to one another since the invitation was addressed to Zach Quinto & Chris Pine.

“How did you find out about this?” Zach asks under his breath during Greg’s opening speech.

“JJ told me,” Chris whispers back.

Naturally.

But Zach doesn’t stoop to barbs. He just needs to tell Greg about the divorce.

A server stops at their table with a tray of champagne, and Zach notices that his ex politely declines. A small part of him feels smug. In his opinion, Chris should never drink again.

As soon as the speeches are over and they’re free to mingle, Zach is up and out of his seat. He doesn’t want to spend any more time next to Chris than absolutely necessary. He sees plenty of people he knows—Kristen and Dax, who he’s delighted to see.

“So, you’re here with Chris?” Kristen asks, raising an eyebrow in the other man’s general direction.

“No.” Zach’s reply is curt. “Greg—somehow—doesn’t know about the divorce. Apparently, Chris heard about this from JJ, so.”

“I’m sorry, honey. How are the kids?”

“Great,” Zach replies with no amount of sarcasm. “Tabby’s in eight grade now, and Evan’s in third.”

“Wow. I don’t think I’ve seen Evan since he was a toddler.”

They trade pictures and updates of their kids. Zach tells them about living in New York; they’ve just bought a house in Santa Cruz. It feels like his life is finally getting back to normal.

Halfway through the night, Zach steps outside for a breather. It’s much quieter out here, and the cool air feels good against his face. Closing his eyes, he leans back against the brick building.

“You smoke now?”

Startled, Zach’s eyes snap open. Chris stands in front of him, eyeing the smoke curling up from his left hand.

Pursing his lips, Zach holds up the joint held delicately between his first two fingers.

“Oh.” Chris shuffles his feet.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Came to get some air, same as you.”

“How convenient.” Zach takes a hit and offers the joint to Chris. He’s not an asshole, after all.

Chris steps forward, and Zach can smell the faint whiff of his cologne, the same stuff he’s been wearing for years, and it almost knocks Zach backwards with the force of memory. He hasn’t been close enough to smell that scent in months.

Chris holds the joint like he’s smoking a cigarette, tucked down between his first and second finger, inhales hard enough to make himself cough. He hands the joint back. “Strong shit,” he says between breaths.

“I haven’t bought ditch weed since I lived in Pittsburgh.”

They stand there in silence while Zach smokes.

“You wanna hit this again?”

Chris shakes his head.

Zach chuckles. “You always were a one-hit wonder, Pine.”

“I miss you,” Chris says, apropos of nothing.

Zach raises an eyebrow, snuffs the joint on the brick, and slides the roach into his pocket. “Should have thought about that before you put your hands on Kori’s cunt.” He glides past Chris and back into the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is love. xx


	3. Chapter 3

The decision is not one to which Zach comes lightly. He spends nearly a month mulling it over. They’ve settled into a routine that works well enough. The kids—Tabitha, especially—are really enjoying their time in the ‘big city,’ and that is one kink Zach is still trying to figure out. At Joe’s suggestion (and the professional opinion of his lawyer), he decides to talk to Chris about it before saying anything to the kids.

Zach packs a bowl and sets it next to his computer. If this conversation goes south, he’ll want a smoke.

He pulls up FaceTime and waits for the call to connect.

Chris appears for a moment and then Zach is staring at the ceiling in the bedroom. He’d picked out that ceiling fan.

“Hold on a second,” says Chris.

Zach drums his fingertips on the desk. He imagines Chris is changing or something, but that is not the image he wants in his mind right now.

A few minutes later, the camera shifts and Chis reappears. “Sorry about that. What’s up?”

“Is this a bad time?” Zach frowns. “You can call me later if you need to.”

“No, it’s really fine.”

Watching as Chris sits down, Zach takes a breath. “I’ve been thinking about this whole … situation, and I think maybe it would be better for the kids if I moved back in.” He holds up a single finger before Chris can interrupt. “We’re not getting back together. I just think maybe it would be better for the kids not to shuffle them across the country every week. I’ll keep my apartment here, but I’m going to look for a place in LA.”

Chris’s expression in inscrutable.

“I know it’s going to upset Tabby,” Zach continues, “as odd as that sounds. But she and I can fly back here once a month or so. At least this way, we won’t have to worry about taking the kids out of school. And in a few years, if Tabitha really wants to move to New York, she can go to NYU or something, and I’ll let her use the apartment when she’s old enough.”

“Evan will be excited.”

“I’m sleeping on the couch until I get something else figured out.”

“Of course.”

There’s nothing to say after that. Zach ends the call and picks up his pipe. As he flicks the lighter, he ponders the lack of resistance on Chris’s end. This is going to be a fucking adventure.

*

Tabitha mopes about her papa leaving New York City for a day or so, but she’s placated by the fact that he’s not selling the apartment. Zach moves back in, and it’s even more awkward than it was before he left. At least now they’re all under the same roof.

They don’t eat together. They’re not a family anymore.

Zach and Chris take turns with the kids. Chris is usually home, but when it’s “his” night, Zach finds other places to be.

At their next meeting, they’re closer to the end than they’ve ever been.

“Since we’ve come to an agreement regarding the schooling of the children, and Mr. Pine will retain ownership of the Silver Lake residence, while Mr. Quinto owns the Manhattan residence, that leaves the matter of jewelry. Now, because Mr. Quinto’s engagement ring was purchased and gifted prior to the marriage, it is not considered a divisible asset in these proceedings.”

Silently, Zach reaches into his pocket and wraps his hand around two rings. They’re both platinum: one has a strip of diamonds around the band; the other is inlaid with an intricate design. Chris doesn’t have to look to know the inscription in the latter reads _all i worship and adore_.

They’d spent more time agonizing over the inscriptions inside the rings than they had picking them out. Most of their suggestions were tossed away with “too cliche,” “too serious,” or “too silly.”

When Chris offhandedly began singing a few bars of Sinatra, Zach knew what words to use.

Chris’s ring reads _you’re all i long for_.

“I guess ‘please be true’ would have been a better line to use,” Zach says as he drops the rings on the table. “I don’t want them. They’re yours. They mean nothing to me.”

*

_They mean nothing to me._ Zach’s words bounce around Chris’s head, ripping layers from his heart like this whole thing isn’t his fault.

Zach’s rings are next to Chris’s in the safe. The combination is the same, and as far as Chris is concerned, Zach can help himself to it whenever he likes. Other than their wedding jewelry, the only items that remain in there are passports, birth certificates, social security cards, and a couple of sentimental items like a necklace from Chris’s grandmother. He knows Zach isn’t petty enough to steal something like that, especially when it’s been promised to Tabby.

Chris drops onto the couch. When did his life become such a mess?

“You’re on my bed.”

Startled, Chris looks up. Standing next to him is Zach with his jacket draped over one arm.

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

“That’s because I’m the perfect burglar.” Zach rolls his eyes. “I have a key, and I didn’t slam the door. Where are the kids?”

“Evan is spending the night at a friend’s house, and Tabby is seeing a movie.”

“At nine o’clock at night?”

“I talked with the parent, who is currently sitting through that pop star whats-his-name’s movie with them. The concert one. She’s fine.” Chris wants to add that he’s capable of being a decent parent even when Zach isn’t around.

After what feels like an hour of uncomfortable silence, Chris says, “You can sit down.”

Zach looks like he wants to deny Chris’s offer, but then he sits.

“I’m glad you’re back—here, I mean. The kids missed you. They need you.” He prepares himself for the vitriol that doesn’t come.

“I missed them, too.” Zach’s eyes glimmer amber in the low light.

“I missed you,” Chris says, so low its nearly inaudible.

Zach says nothing. His hands clench and unclench against his thighs. It’s clear he’s using all his resolve not to lash out at his soon-to-be ex-husband. They’ve been through all the whys? and hows? Now, it’s just a matter of the whens? and wheres?

“I guess forever only lasts so long, huh?”

Chris snaps, and he shouts, “Does that make you feel better? I’m tired of being berated. I’ve apologized, I’ve groveled, I’ve given you ever fucking thing you want. What do you want Zach?”

“I want my husband back!”

“Me too! I want my life back!”

“I wish you’d never slept with Kori!”

“So do I!”

“I wish I could forgive you!”

“I wish I could forgive myself!”

Neither could say who moved first, but one minute they’re yelling and the next they’re kissing.

It’s hard, brutal, animalistic. They’re taking their pain and loneliness out on each other. There’s teeth and saliva. Zach bites too hard and Chris scratches with blunt nails.

Chris winds up face-down on the sofa. His jeans are jerked down just below his ass. Zach hardly bothers to do more than unzip his own.

Spit doesn’t provide enough lube, but they keep going. They go until Zach cums deep inside Chris. Until Chris is shooting against the couch cushions and they’ll have to have the upholstery cleaned and hope the kids don’t notice.

Breathless, Zach collapses, but Chris doesn’t complain about the weight against his back. It’s been nearly a year since they’ve been this close. Physically or otherwise.

“How do I know you won’t do this to me again?” Zach huffs into the back of Chris’s neck.

“This doesn’t have to change anything.”

“I’m talking about your affair.”

Chris rolls his shoulder. Zach takes it to mean he wants to be let up, so he’s surprised when Chris shifts his body so that he can press his back against Zach’s front. They picked this couch because it was big enough to fit both of them comfortably. They jockey around a bit so Chris can pull his jeans back up despite the mess on and around him.

Zach’s hand settles feather-light on Chris’s belly.

“Kori never made me feel the way you do.” He feels Zach exhale behind him, but Chris plows on before he can be interrupted. “I’ve told you repeatedly how sorry I am. What I haven’t told you is that Kori made me _feel something_. I just didn’t realize that it wasn’t nearly as deep as what I feel for you. Somehow I … lost that along the way.” Lifting the hand on his belly, he presses soft kisses against each of Zach’s fingertips.

“I’m still mad at you,” Zach says flatly.

“That’s okay.”

“And I’m sleeping on the couch at least until I feel comfortable sharing a bed with you again.”

“Understandable.”

“And I’m not putting an end to divorce proceedings yet.”

“Okay.” The reply is quieter this time, hardly more than a whisper.

“I want you to come to therapy with me.”

At this point, Chris would jump of a bridge if Zach asked him to. It’s not a solution, but it’s a start.

The front door opens, and they spring apart, scrambling to right their clothes. Chris tosses a blanket over the couch and prays the room doesn’t smell like sex.

Zach strides forward to cut Tabby off in the hall. “How was the movie?”

“Fine.” She shrugs one shoulder and tosses her hair over her shoulder.

Chris appears at Zach’s side and gives his daughter a too-wide smile. “Fun night?”

“Yeah?” Tabitha makes a face. “You guys are acting _weird_. Did something happen?”

Chris and Zach share a look.

“Oh, my god. Really?” Tabitha squeals, “You’re getting back together, aren’t you?” She throws her arms around Chris’s waist. “Daddy, I knew you could do it!” Releasing Chris, she tugs Zach down so she can kiss his cheek. “I’m so glad you’re back, Papa.” Her parents watch as she practically skips up their stairs to her room.

“How is it that she can’t remember what she learned in school, but she can pick up on…” Chris gestures between them. “This.”

Zach shakes his head. “Hormones.”

“Well, we have Tabby’s support.”

Pressing his lips into a tight smile, Zach reaches for Chris’s hand. It’s not going to be easy, but just maybe, they could be a family again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! xx

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! xx


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